The importance of modesty for women
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Sometimes there are subjects that are a little controversial. Modesty is one of those. But today I wanted to talk about it because I believe it is an extremely important issue in today’s society and it is something we as women have a responsibility in towards our men and men in general.
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I also turned this into a video on my Youtube Channel, so if you prefer watching the video, you can find it here:
What is modesty?
Before we dive into why it is so important, I wanted to define modesty. Because I think the idea of modesty and what it truly means has been wrong. So let’s see what the dictionary has to say about modesty when it comes to dressing modest.
Modesty: the quality, in women, of dressing or behaving in a way that is intended to avoid attracting sexual interest.
Now when you look at that definition, it is actually very clear what it means. It just means that we do not dress to attract any sexual interest. And let’s be honest. That has NOT been the case in our fashion for years. Women would wear shirts that would show their cleavage or crop tops to show off their belly. And let’s not forget about the mini skirts that have been popular where you could not really bend over properly.
Does that mean you have to cover every part of your body except your face? Of course not. I do not believe your arms will do much harm to a man’s sexual interest. What it talks about is showing parts of your body that should only be shown to your husband.
This type of clothing is made to attract sexual interest. Whether you wear it like that or not, that is what happens. Men are wired in a different way than women and seeing part of a woman’s body will peak their interest sexually. But more on that later. Let’s first talk about the importance of modesty.
Why it is important?
There are many reasons why modesty is important.
- In Proverbs 31:23 it says: ‘ Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land’. When I think about a woman that shows off more of her body than needed, I cannot help but think of how her husband would be at the city gate. Do we really think a husband would be respected and proud of his wife when she dresses poorly and walks around in mini skirts and crop tops?!
- In Proverbs 31:25 it continuous to say: ‘She is clothed with strength and dignity’. And even though I believe these words are also talking about her behaviour, I also believe dignity shows in the way you dress. Dignity speaks of a sense of style, but also of being worthy of respect. And as a woman I cannot imagine showing dignity without dressing modest.
- But it is also important to set a good example towards our children and other women. We have talked about Titus 2:3-5 a couple times before, but as women we are also role models for our kids and the younger generation. What example do you give your daughter when you use your body as a billboard, showing off your body to every men in town? Instead of keeping your body holy (we are a temple of the Holy Spirit-1 Corinthians 6:19-20– after all!) and for your husband to enjoy only?
- Another big reason for dressing modest is our responsibility towards men. And I wanted to go a little deeper into this one because I believe that in our technology driven world, this is an extremely important reason to keep in mind.
Our responsibility towards men
One of the biggest lies I believe women have started to believe in is ‘If a man doesn’t want to see it he can look away’ or, even worse, ‘If he can’t control his lust, that is his problem, not mine’. Have we truly become so selfish and self-centred as a generation?
Let’s look at the differences between men and women really quick;
- Men are more visual than women. Which means we can see a woman walking in a mini skirt and think; ‘oh, cute skirt’. A men however will probably think more in terms of; Hot body, beautiful legs or ‘what’s underneath that skirt?’. We just think very different. And let me be clear; there is nothing wrong with men being more visual! We just have to be aware of it and help other men to think pure thoughts about us. If you wear a mini skirt in the home and your husband thinks; ‘what’s underneath that skirt?’ There is nothing wrong with it. It’s a healthy situation. It becomes unhealthy, when it goes outside of the home and other men see you dressed like that and think those thoughts about you.
- It is extremely easy in our technology driven world, to find sexual material online. Unfortunately that is the time we live in. Having women showing parts of their bodies they shouldn’t show on the streets, makes it very hard for men to look away. Why not help men to stay pure and without lust if we can? Why would we want to show off our bodies to other men anyway? Nobody needs to see your cleavage other than your husband.
How to dress?
When it comes to modesty, I think it is important to always keep in mind what the definition of the word is. And dress accordingly. It doesn’t mean that you need to always wear dresses. It just means that you do not show off parts of your body that are not meant for other men to see.
Some guidelines I personally follow. Not necessarily list you need to follow as well, but just to help you:
- No cleavage. I will wear a shirt underneath something if it shows too much.
- No crop tops. You will never see my belly button, ever. (and that includes swimwear)
- No short skirts or jeans. I personally don’t wear anything that is shorter than just above my knees. I want to be able to bend over without showing my bum 😉
- Nothing see-through. For all the obvious reasons.
Well I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the point by now. Be aware of what you do and wear and don’t push away the responsibly you have. You can make it easier for men by dressing more modest, so do that and set a good example for other, younger girls.
Be blessed!
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