The importance of community for Stay at home moms

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For the last 6 years I have been a stay at home mom, and I’ve learnt first hand how important it is to have a community around you. There have been many years where I thought I didn’t need a community, but it turned out I did. And ever since I found a great group of friends, life and my walk with the Lord have been so much better!

So let’s talk about the importance of a community for stay at home moms, how to find one and what to do when it feels impossible.

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Why you need a community

• We need conversations with other people than just the kids or your husband. Sometimes you just want to talk about fashion or the best way to get a stain out of a t-shirt and for me, both my kids and my husband are not the best people to do this with. Plus, women just understand better why it is so important to you which laundry detergent to buy and your husband will simply just not get it (usually..)
• Other women will (or should) help you grow in your walk with God. Now I know this is not for every single person you are friends with, but make sure you have friends that will bring you closer to God. You need other women around you to walk the walk with you.
• We can live out Titus 2. You can be a mentor to other women. Or we can find other women who will be mentors to us. It’s so important to have women around you that mentor you. At the same time, you will be a mentor to other women, so having people around you that you can help in their walk with God, is just amazing and such a blessing! (PS. Did you see the e-book I made on just Titus 2? You’ll love it!)

How to find a good community

• Go to church: It’s super important to go to church and find like minded Christian women. And what better place to find these women, than in a good church. So be involved, serve in your local church and make friends.
• Be involved in activities/sports. A great way to make friends is by just doing things. This can be a sport you do in your local community, but you can also be involved in activities in church.
• Get out of the house. It’s so tempting to stay inside sometimes, but staying in your own home will not magically bring friends on your doorstep. Relationships require work, so put in the work. Start by going outside more often and just be friendly to women you meet!
• Go online and connect with Christian women. But be aware of scams! I fell into a NWM trap and thought I had found a community online with women who were all on the same page. And while I was part of the company, it truly felt like that. But as soon as I quit, I learnt that those women weren’t really friends, they were colleagues. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but just be aware of the fact that it’s not true friendship. There are some strings attached, so don’t neglect your real-life friends!

When a good community seems impossible to find

But let’s be honest, sometimes it just feels impossible to find a community. At least, that is what I have experienced.

Or you have friends, but the seasons change. We have had friends that moved away, friends we no longer connected with when a new season arrived, etc. And that is okay. Stay close to the Lord and tell Him that you would really love to have more friends.

I personally did the same thing when we hit ‘rock bottom’ when it came to friendships. It felt like I was always alone and didn’t have real friends. So I talked to the Lord about it and asked Him to bring people on my path. And He did! We decided to visit a different church, got involved in different teams and connected with people quickly. Two years after we first walked into that church, I can truly say I have found some sweet friends!

So bring it to the Lord and He will be the best friend you could ever have. And in the meantime He will help you meet new people!

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