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How to create a happy home when you don’t feel like it

cup of coffee with a plate full of donuts

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Whether you are a seasoned homemaker, or just getting married. Creating a happy home may not always be something you want to do. Maybe you don’t feel good and don’t know how to create a happy home, when you yourself aren’t even happy. With these tips you will be able to create that home you love!

1. Put your phone down

Let’s start by doing one simple thing. Put your phone down. Get rid of that distracting machine and get back to the present.

girl wearing a white t-shirt holding her phone.

Why is it important to put your phone down?

First of all, looking at your phone all day makes you numb, sluggish and just unhappy. You don’t do anything productive and it is only causing you to feel bad about that later in the day.

Secondly, when we use our phone we are most likely scrolling Social Media like everybody else (because that is what the statistics show us). While Social Media CAN be a great thing, it is also highly addicting.

And on top of that; you will see all sorts of perfect pictures of people who ‘have it all together’ and who seem to be able to make everything look amazing and fun.

Stop that comparison game and focus on the here and now. Put that phone away and start looking at all the amazing things you DO have.

2. Pick up your bible

So now that we got rid of the ‘bad guy’, let’s put good things back into our lives. Starting by picking up your Bible. Because it’s the most important thing to add to your life!

Find a Bible study that focuses on being thankful, content or happy. Or maybe pick a Bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman. But you can also start reading your favourite Bible book, or read a Proverb a day.

Whatever you decide to do, focus on reading the Bible and praying. Write down in your prayer journal how you feel, what you want to change and start praying about it. And then watch God do amazing things in your life!

It’s a amazing how much better you will feel when you decide to pick up that Bible and read the truth every single day (instead of scrolling through those ‘perfect feeds’).

3. Put good things in

‘You are what you eat’ – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

A great saying that tells us a lot about what food does to our bodies. Because when you put bad things in, why would you expect good things to come out?!

So now it’s time to focus on what you put into your body. What foods do you eat? How much do you eat? How does it make you feel?

One thing I decided to do years ago, was go refined sugar free. I quit eating sugar and focused on eating whole foods. The first few weeks were a little rough thanks to my ‘addiction to sugar’, but soon after that period was over I started to feel great. I wasn’t as tired as I used to be, I was able to stay focused and I enjoyed real foods a lot more. It made me realise how important food is for your mental health.

Recently, I decided something needed to change again. I was constantly tired, didn’t feel good and was anxious way more than I ever was. I read a ton of books and came across ‘the postnatal depletion cure’ by Dr. Oscar Serrallach.

One thing he mentions in his book is a lack of iron. I have been tested to be low on iron, so I decided it was time to get those levels back up. And I almost instantly felt a change in how I felt.

Hand with white nail polish holding a Modere Trim bottle and spoon

All that to say; it is extremely important to look at all the things you put into your body. Don’t eat junk all the time and expect to feel great and on top of things. It just doesn’t work that way.

Start eating whole foods again. Try cooking from scratch once a week. Drink more water. Use good supplements (these are my favourites). There are so many amazing resources out there that can help you feel fit and healthy.

I am not a medical expert, and these examples are for illustrative purposes only. Always consult your doctor.

4. Create a routine

One of the best ways to create a happy home is to create a good routine. Having a routine will help you do all the things needed, when you have time for them, without having to stress over the tasks. And eliminating stress is a perfect way to create a happier home.

What’s important for creating a good routine?

  • Examine your current habits and routines. What works well and what doesn’t?
  • Focus on the simple parts of your day first. Do you have a (small) routine for part of your day? Work on that routine first and stack habits. Read my post on habit stacking to find out how to do this effectively.
  • Make a routine that has a good flow to it. And make sure it works for your family. Just because someone does a workout as soon as they wake up, doesn’t mean it will work for you.
  • Don’t make the routines too long. Long routines are harder to remember. Instead, stack one habit a time.
  • Create a routine for specific pain points in your family. Is the morning always a stressful time? Create a morning routine. Do you struggle to keep up with the laundry? Create a laundry routine. Routines are meant to make your life easier.

Want to know how to create good routines? Read my posts on them here.

5. Focus on little things that make you happy

In order to create a happy home, you need to create an environment that makes YOU happy. So focus on simple things that do just that. Maybe it’s lighting a candle in the morning (which I LOVE!) or grabbing a cup of coffee or tea before you start cleaning the dishes.

Whatever it is that makes you happy, focus more on it. It’s the little things that can make a huge difference in how we feel.

Some things I do that you could try:

cup of coffee with a plate full of donuts
  • Putting on clothes that make me feel pretty
  • Putting on make up (because it makes me feel pretty)
  • Lighting a candle when I come downstairs in the early morning
  • Grabbing a cup of coffee with a piece of dark chocolate
  • Reading a book for 10 minutes
  • Going outside and sit in the sun for a few minutes
  • Watch the kids play together (want to teach them to play independently? Read this post on how we did that!)
  • Take a shower
  • Do my nails

These are just a few ideas, but you get the idea. Do things that make you smile.

6. Start a gratitude journal

And, in all honesty, you can change all the things around you but it all comes down to being grateful. Because there is just so much to be grateful for! Writing down those things will make you realise just how blessed you are.

It doesn’t have to be this beautiful perfect bullet journal that you decorate with 2000 stickers and paint and washi tape. If you like that, by all means, go for it. But if you are like me, you just don’t have the time to do that. So just writing down one thing I am grateful for is all I do. And it’s been such a blessing.

I don’t want to write down ‘my husband’ or ‘my kids’ every day, so it’s been a great challenge to think about something new every single day. And it’s been so fun! You never really run out of things to be grateful for. So definitely give it a try!

What are some things you love to do to create a happy home? Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear from you!

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  1. I love this post! Full of reality and truth, especially for busy mamas who intend well but sometimes have to put on a brave face for the day at home. This is a great post for building better habits also! What a great read for me today!

  2. It definitely is the small things. Between the chaos of our 2 four year olds, our 2 month old, my shift work, and the worsening economy and its stressors on our budget, there’s been a lot of upheaval in our home. Some of the self care, like wearing my kilt as much as I can 🙂 , and trying to keep the house somewhat looking like we want it (as much as we’re ALLOWED to by our crazy kids has been so helpful. Finally getting back into fellowship as restrictions on churches have eased has been important too.

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